Dear How I Met Your Mother writers,
Clearly, I love your show. I mean, hello, the blog is named Be Awesome Instead for a reason.
I supported you when you got Barney and Robin together the first time, even though it went against everything you built the characters to be for multiple seasons. I complained and you listened. Whether directly to me or not, I'm not sure, as others felt the same way. Now, though, I'm disappointed. Not for the outcome of last night's show, but for the message that came along with the single person having a kid story line.
"It's worth the wait" to hold out until you find a significant other.
"Gotta wait for the real thing, no matter how tough it gets."
Guess what? Not everyone finds, or even wants, the "real thing."
I understand you're trying to move the story along, but sitting here at thirty knowing I want kids? Single parenthood is a realistic possibility. Yes, having a child with someone I love and will spend the rest of my life with would be the ideal situation. But how long should I wait? Should I just not have kids at all if I don't find the "real thing?" As a woman, the amount of time for that to happen only exists for so long. This is my reality.
We're in the 21st century here. I appreciate your support on gay couples having children. Truly. I hope everyone else follows suit. But your lack of support for the single parent amazes me. Maybe you think it's ok if the single parent started out with a significant other? I can tell you an unhappy two-parent household can screw a kid up, just as much, if not more so, than a single parent household.
Obviously, I'm not at the point where I have to make the decision on kids alone or no kids, but if that time comes and I'm in a place to support a child with the right group of people around me, the decision won't come down to waiting for the "real thing," as you so choose to call it.
I understand where you're coming from in using that choice of words for the impact it would have on the end of the episode, and I'm not usually one to take offense. This time though, you got me. Poorly played, writers, poorly played.
Sincerely,
A Very Disappointed Fan
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11 comments:
Nice post. I did briefly think about that when I was watching the episode. I keep typing and deleting what I'm trying to say. But basically I support single parenthood, double parenthood, gay parenthood...basically any parenting where the parent loves and would do anything to take care of their child. I have have seen situations where the pressure or desire to have children has lead people to form relationships/marriages based soley on having kids and sometimes those relationships do not end well. We will need to see how they play out this Robin thing now. I was not expecting that.
You know, I watched that episode last night and I didn't think about this...but now that I read your post I agree.
I'd like to think their point was that you shouldn't settle for a bad situation, just to have a kid. But if it was, they really didn't deliver it correctly.
I'm with JM...the main thing is that the child has someone to love them, nurture, care for them. Two dads, one Mom, hell, ONE dad, a dad and a mom, two moms...grandparents...uncles...really, it doesn't matter.
I totally see where you're coming from, but I know in this case -- this is just them playing into the whole, "find the mother" thing. Now, I'm interested in seeing what they do with Robin's situation. That's going to be the real test on how they view single motherhood (unless they just have Robin run get married to Barney or Kevin or whoever).
It's weird that they can support openly gay couples with children, but then basically slap the single straights who want children like that. :/
I'm right with Shana on this one. It didn't cross my mind either while watching it, but it does frustrate me that they were putting it out there like that.
It was absolutely to move the story line along. Just to show that Barney was ready for a family, and then they tied it up with the Robin bombshell.
I can't see them actually shunning any type of parent, but I think they just royally screwed up in their writing. It could have been handled better. It should have been handled better.
Hutch, you will be an excellent mother when the time comes. A very excellent mother.
Good job with no spoilers but the comments have kind of clued me in. No worries, I can't wait to watch! I'm a mom so my opinion gets to count more yes? Just kidding! Um, being a parents is HARD! I complain all the time that I feel like a single parent but really my husband comes home every day at 6 and is here every weekend. I married him because I wanted babies that looked like him and he put up with me and asked. We have a pretty good relationship. Adding a kid? Strains your relationship. So I say have a kid with someone you have a really strong relationship with. Romantic or otherwise. If you want to do it yourself, more power to you. With 16 year olds thinking they have found the right thing and having babies who is anyone to tell you to wait?
I thought the same thing as Shana and AuntBT - I just took it like he was saying don't settle for something that isn't what you really want.
Though when I read your tweet, I realized it was worded poorly.
I have never actually watched the show so I can't say what message I thought they were pushing with absolute conviction, but if, as you said it's one that doesn't support the single parent or tells him/her to hold off onto something better comes along... well, then it's time for you to send them this letter.
Nice post, as always.
I hadn't thought about it like that.
I was just distracted by the whole thing about if Barney and Robin would end up getting back together. It can't really be them that gets married, can it? She still needs to do all that traveling and I can't see it being Barney who goes with her.
I don't watch the show but I can totally see how that would be upsetting. I hate when writers try to use cliches like that!
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