Be Awesome Instead

So Long, Farewell

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Mon, 14 May 2012 16:04:00 +0000

For those who've been watching How I Met Your Mother regularly know this season has been an example of a great show being thrown in to a trash pile and sent to the dump. The same show that inspired the name you see across the header (if you're actually on the site, that is).

Timing can be such a funny thing.

When I started this blog, there was a lot of "Instead" that I needed to Be Awesome of. A crappy economy landing me in an unfortunate job situation, a shattered heart, drama with friends. I needed this outlet. Now? I don't need to use humor to cover up the healing. I need humor because I'm funny and like funny people.

Don't get me wrong, my life is still far from perfect, but I'm content...happy...at peace. I actually grew up, gasp (let's not confuse growing up with maturity)! You all have helped immensely in getting me there. I've made what I know will be lifelong friendships with many of you. Blogging really is a cheaper option than therapy.

It's with my newly found serenity that I say farewell to Be Awesome Instead. I hate when relationships linger without closure, and I've been a bad better half for awhile now. No excuses, no guilt, I'm just done. It's time. Thanks for the support over the past two and a half years!

Don't worry, I'm not completely disappearing from the internets...I'll still be lurking and you can always find me on Twitter and most Monday's at From the Sidelines (launching a new weekly feature this Friday you should check it out).

Random Musings Tuesday

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Yes, I know Shana usually hosts Random Musings on Friday, but I won't be here. Instead, I'll be soaking up the sun in the desert, taking in some amazing country music and drinking like I'm still 25. That's right, it's Stagecoach weekend!

I think I'm most excited for Blake Shelton and Eli Young Band
LOVE "Crazy Girl"

To prepare, I went line dancing for my birthday (combined with another friend whose bday was a few days later). I can also check off learning 3 new line dances on the 101 in 1001 list! I should probably do an update soon.

I'm on week 3 of the final phase of P90X2 and I've met my goal weight, yay! I really wanted to get there by Stagecoach week so double yay! I'm not a huge fan of numbers and scales, but I will fully admit to enjoying it when the numbers steadily decline. As someone who has seen the scale jump when I've had little control over the situation due to thyroid issues, I'm proud of myself for being able to get the weight back in to my control. I haven't seen this number show up on a scale since high school. I do worry about becoming too obsessed with the numbers, especially since there's still room to lose. I need to focus now on just getting in the right shape for Tough Mudder!

On that note, I've decided to buy a pull up bar. I don't think the bands get the upper body strong enough on their own. A couple months back I was visited by the Fairy Hobmother who was amazingly kind and gave me an Amazon gift card. I've struggled since then to decide what to spend it on (am I the only one who does this with gift cards? I still have an MLB one from The Favorite from when the Giants won the World Series). Now I know, but I need a recommendation. I want a door hanging one that doesn't leave marks or ding up the door frame. HELP.

Back when the tornadoes hit Dallas, I was chatting/texting with AuntBT and she gave me the website for the local news station (who would have thought CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News would all fail on the detail here). On the local station there were 4 headlines, all tornado related. The 5th headline? Letting people know Days of Our Lives would air later. Is that really enough of a priority during tornadoes to be a headline?

I have irrational weather fears. Tornadoes and hurricanes being the top two. I know, I live in California, that's where the irrational part comes in. I shared this with Kristin and Amanda when they were dealing with Mother Nature's temper back in February/March. Sunday morning I woke up to a news story about a "Sonic Boom" heard in the sky above the Sierras (aka Lake Tahoe for the non-locals) most likely from a meteor. Of course I had to text Kristin and Amanda to inform them of the Universe fighting back at Mother Earth (are Earth and Nature the same mom, or different?). Our text conversation went from the world is ending, aliens attacking, where would aliens not want to go (New Mexico, Oklahoma, West Virginia, Nebraska and North Dakota were our narrowed down options), and finally, screw the aliens lets go to a beach and have a pool boy pamper us until the aliens completely take over. You can see why I love these ladies, yes?

Aaron Sorkin should use our conversations for his "walk and talks." Have I mentioned how excited I am he's coming back to TV for The Newsroom? So excited I've switched out my Showtime subscription for HBO. I'll switch it back in the fall for Dexter/Homeland, and love that Surewest allows me to do this! Due to the switch I now have a new obsession, Game of Thrones and Kit Harington. I just finished Season 1 and wish I had 4 hours before I leave to catch up on Season 2! If you want to know why I haven't caught up on my Draw Something games, you now have your answer.

The only other thing occupying my mind right now: Is it Thursday morning yet???

Eyedews winner and P90x2 Update!

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 11:00:00 +0000

I have to say I loved the open comments. You all seriously kept me entertained during a crazy week!

I know why you're here though, so I'll keep this short. The eyedews winner is...

Lucky #209

Congrats Julie!!

Hopefully these will help get you through all that studying!

Send me your address and the eyedews will be on there way to you later this week.

Bang, Bang, Bangity Bang...

I'm also giving an update on my P90x2 progress over at From the Sidelines today. The program is killer!

DRAWESTIN: Music Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Hi, my name is Hutch and I'm a DrawSomething addict.

Luckily, I'm not alone. I've found my people and they entertain me daily. I can only hope I return the favor. For those of you who find yourself in a similar predicament #AwesomeAustin has coming to your rescue (yes, we're Superheroes). For the entire month of April, we're hosting a linkup where you can show off your favorite DrawSomething drawings. Since it's my birthday month, and today is my actual birthday, you have to play along!

The following are my favorites from the last few weeks in the Music category.

You had me at Fake! (From @KristinZas)

This one, from @CathyLynn_, took some coaching.
It's Brilliant. I'm Blonde.

@AmandaAustin draws the best Hammer Pants. Fact.

Always amazed how quickly my friends guess my drawing of The Ga.

You'd think #AwesomeAustin was connected or something!

Find us on DrawSomething (AwesomeHutch and AmandaAustin) and join in on the fun!

Link up below at any point in the next month. We might even have a prize for our favorites!

A Birthday and a Giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 10:00:00 +0000

In two days, I'm going to be 31. Thirty-One. I now understand what everyone meant about really coming in to your own at 30. My ability to give a shit about the little things has waned, while my comfort in who I am has only grown. Dare I say it? I'm loving my thirties!

Of course, a huge part of that comfort comes with getting my skinnies back (down 8 pounds since mid-Jan, yay) and not looking my age. I've mentioned my love for eyedews many times in the past, but my weekly pamper sesh with the dews on Saturday or Sunday mornings definitely helps to keep my youthful appearance.

I know there's many of you who have not been fortunate enough to try this amazing product, or your supply has run out. For the birthday, I've decided to give back to my lovely readers. That's right, one of you can win your own pack of eyedews.

Since I like things to be simple the older I get, I'm going to make this really easy on you. Taking my inspiration from KLZ, entries will be unlimited. Leave as many comments as you want. Tweet as much as you want, be sure to include a link back (http://goo.gl/z43vJ), @AwesomeHutch and @eyedews and leave a comment here when you do. I will keep the giveaway up through end of day Friday (4/6), revealing the randomly selected winner next Monday.

Good Luck!

Random Musings: Hunger Games vs Twilight

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Linking up with Shana this week for some Random Musings. Having seen the Hunger Games on Monday, along with 500 million others, the movie/books are of course on my mind, and since EVERYONE wants to compare it to Twilight I can no longer stay silent.

The last preview before the movie started was for Twilight. I groaned. I will admit to liking the books when they came out, but the movies were stupid. Absolutely dumb. I didn't watch the last one and I doubt I'll see the last. The 2nd I went to see in the theaters just for the entertainment value in the audience. These people are really that obsessed over a fictional character in a book? It was pure hilarity!
Since reading the Hunger Games I find Bella to be flat out obnoxious. I'm sorry, but Katniss has her beat in every category. Screw the whiny, snively, I'm so miserable and can't decide between a wimpy vampire and a probably not even interested in women, werewolf character and give me an ass-kicking, bad ass lead female any time.
I couldn't be happier there's not a true love triangle in Hunger Games. Yes, tweens will try to make the series about Peeta vs. Gale, but if that's what you get out of the book you might want to re-read. And let's be honest, we all knew Bella would never choose Jacob. In THG, the strongly debated choice is made at the end, secondary to the story and really only there to provide closure.
As for the male characters, I know some people aren't down with Josh Hutcherson as Peeta. Other than the short statue (described in the book as medium height), I thought he did a great job. Do we really need to compare Gale vs Edward? I mean, really? No.
I'm curious if the Twilight fan base will take a hit, or if the Twi-Hards are still obsessed with Robsten and will camp out for the midnight release. I kind of want them to stay where they are and not come near the books I love. And the fan fiction? Ugh. Please, I beg you, don't turn the series into something it's not and let the actors be!

In unrelated news, I'm super excited about a link-up I'm co-hosting with Amanda. Keep your eyes out, details to come soon!

2 More From the 101 in 1001!

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 14:53:00 +0000

This weekend I checked off two more items from my 101 in 1001 list. The first up was being fit, by an actual professional, to find out my real bra size. Like many women out there I had been wearing the wrong size since I was 14. 16 years people!

The second item was my half marathon. I ran 13.1 miles yesterday morning and have the medal to prove it! You can read about my experience HERE.

I'm slightly sore, as in I'll be taking the elevator to go up one floor at work, not the stairs, sore. But I made it out alive!

Random Musings Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 12:00:00 +0000

Friends, I have to say my new schedule makes for some insane days. Working 7am-5:30 or 6:00 and then going from work to a meeting, or training run, leaves me with about 4-8 hours of non-sleeping time in my home each week. I miss you, I miss writing here, but other priorities took over. Please accept my apologies. Today, I'm linking up with Shana for some Random Musings from the past week(ish)

How is flyering cars not illegal by now? It's the same thing as littering. Of course, I'm the type who feels guilty about throwing shit on the ground, so instead I get annoyed. The annoyance is doubled when I'm on the road and hear flapping only to see they've hit the passenger side of the windshield too. But, don't worry, I show them by just crumpling up the paper before reading and tossing it on top of my car trash pile (usually includes such things as starbucks napkins, gum wrappers and parking meter stickers), which doesn't get thrown out until I hit a gas station. These days I want to cry when I visit one of those, unless I see this:

All I could hear was the Wicked Witch theme music...

I seriously hate election years. I think it brings out the absolute worst in some people. I have good friends from both extremes who are now hidden on my facebook news feed because I'm tried of being slammed with reasons why the other side is the devil. I'm glad we live in a country with free speech, but I love even more that I can choose not to listen.

I skipped out on giving something up for lent this year thanks to Ally, Shana and Kallay. I realized by not eating sweets and other crap foods, I was trying to achieve a fitness goal and there was no relation to religious significance. BTW, those girl scout cookies taste great when you get to eat them right away!

9 weeks of training (and really more like 5 months if you count the fall prepping me for the last couple of months) all culminate this Sunday as I put on my green dry fit Nike shirt and head out for 13.1 miles of Shamrock'n fun. My nerves were doing ok until I looked at the course again last night and watched the numbers increase as I followed the path. Holy shit I'm running 13 miles, on purpose!

Happy Friday!

Hopefully, I'm still walking next week

Where in the World is #AwesomeAustin?

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 12:00:00 +0000

I've always wanted to travel the world, and to experience new places with my twitter better-half, Amanda? Even better! Looks like we'll be going on a new adventure each month. This month, we left all our troubles behind, slapped on some sunscreen and hit the beach...

I don't know about you, but I always wear flannel to the white sand beaches on exotic islands! How great did Amanda's hair look that day? And her make-up? Gorgeous, right?! We spent the day solving blind riddles, sipping umbrella drinks and getting our tans on (for me that's also known as a darker shade of pale).

I really wish I didn't have to come back to work, but such is life. I can't wait to see where our travels take us next month! Deep Sea Fishing? Cloud bouncing like Care-Bears? So many options!

Be sure to follow our travels on twitter at #AwesomeAustin (name credited to Ian) and Amanda at It's Blogworthy.

You're How Old?!

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 14:03:00 +0000

Revealing my age is often followed with a look of shock. It's one of my favorite looks. Yes, I'm 30, and I will gladly smile and engulf you in a gigantic hug (usually more of a mental hug because that might be awkward with co-workers or strangers) when you guess 25 maaaaaybe 26.

After hitting 30, I wanted to make sure I continued to see this look. It was time to really take care of the skin. I loved my Aveeno, but definitely didn't notice much difference with their product lines. Sure it kept my skin clear, but could there be more? I've spent the last 11 months making an investment in my face. Below are the list of products I have fallen for.

KINERASE: PhotoFacials Sun Damage Reversal System Daily Exfoliating Cleanser (daily)

I don't have Sun Damage yet (and hope to never), but this has helped tremendously with my uneven skin tone. I have lots of red undertones and could never quite get that even color look. There's weekends where I go completely make-up-less now and I think this product is a huge reason why.

KINERASE: Intensive Eye Cream (daily)

I follow up the cleanser with the under eye cream. Hello miracle worker! I used a sample of this many years back and loved it, but the wallet couldn't take it. Now the eyes demand it. After a couple months the skin is so soft and there's definitely a difference! I also use the day and night moisturizers. I had no idea there was a reason to use separate moisturizers, now I get it!

Mary Kay: Microdermabrasion Set (2-3 times/week)

Other than participating as a "face model" for a friend at one of her classes I haven't fully used this product. However, I ordered immediately and should have it next week. I will never pay for the spa microdermabrasion treatments after this!

Eyedews (weekly)

If you follow me on twitter you hear me talk about Eyedews constantly! These are my weekly pamper treat (and I really should use them more). My typical Saturday morning consists of waking up, working out, shower, coffee, Eyedews. 15 minutes of pure relaxation and, like magic, my puffiness from a week of insanity is diminished. If you're in need, make sure to check out Semper Fi Momma's blog today (after 7am)!

What are your facial product must haves?

The Social Experiment

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 14:26:00 +0000

I decided to test myself this week and spent all of yesterday free of social media (FB, Twitter, Instagram, etc), for many reasons.

1. To prepare for my week of no Facebook from my 101 in 1001 list. Also, I go through phases and have found myself on there a lot lately, many times annoyed by people's ridiculous posts. Instead of blocking slash hiding the annoyers, I'm slowly weaning myself of the addiction.

2. To avoid all the gag inducing nonsense couples decide to spew. I get it your hubs is the best, ohhhh pretty flowers, yes your jewelry is gorgeous. I'd probably be posting pics too, another addiction of which I have no plans of breaking, so I'm not judging, just choosing not to engage. Sometimes it's too much, even for the strong independent types. *Stepping up on Soapbox* In, or out of, a relationship, I've never been one to use V's Day to validate my relationship (note the "v" stands for Valentine not Validation). I feel bad for those who put so much stock in one day. The pressure to perform (heh) is almost ridiculous, glad I'm not a dude. Pretty sure how your significant other treats you the other 364(5) days of the year is what you should focus on. *Off Soapbox*

3. To work on not being THIS PERSON. With some new developments happening around these parts, I need to let go of the past. No, I'm not being vague to have you ask me about the guy I'm seeing. He currently doesn't exist. It's more of a cleansing. What those in my past are doing today has no bearing on my life. They're in the past for a reason and if I want them to be part of the present I can make that decision when the time comes.

4. I like a good challenge.

How did the experiment go?

You might all be shocked by my answer, but...as you're reading this the world is still turning! Time hasn't stopped. I actually had quite the productive work/event prep day. Basically, I got shit done, worked out, talked to friends, and still had time to enjoy a glass, or more, of wine!

I won't lie though, I missed some of the interaction with my favorite twits, but loved what I saw when I checked in this morning! Maybe there is a little validation in the day after all.

101 in 1001 Update

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 13:00:00 +0000

After yesterday's ruling about Prop 8, I knew the 101 in 1001 list needed an update! Glad to see I've made some progress!

~~Complete a 5K~~
Complete a 10K
Complete a Half Marathon (Registered for the Shamrockin on March 11th)
~~Learn how to "roll-out" my IT band properly aka Trigger Point~~
Allow myself to fall again (the idea still scares the shit out of me)
Visit a foreign country outside of North America (Costa Rica flight is booked for July)
Take a tour of, or watch a game at, Fenway
Visit Chicago (and have a Grilled-Cheese off with KLZ)
Visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter
Finally go to Hawaii
Save enough to travel the world or buy a house
Get a dog
Learn how to cook lamb
Meet more blog friends
Keep in touch with the blog friends I've met (so far so good)
Get a professional bra fitting
Visit the Smithsonian
Attend a Syracuse BBall game in the Garden
Treat both sets of my parents to dinner at a "fancy" restaurant
Finish the Agony and the Ecstasy (I've tried 3 times)
Improve my golf skillzzz
Delete 1 current TV series for every new series I add on the DVR (I got ahead of this knowing Smash and the voice was coming up, so long Pretty Little Liars and CSI: NY, I'll miss you Tag)
Hike Half Dome
Camp in a tent (I'll be doing this at Stagecoach this year)
Walk the Golden Gate Bridge (bridges terrify me)
Pay off my credit card debt
Learn more about how cars work
Grow From the Sidelines readership
~~See California~~ (and how about the entire U.S.) ~~get it right by ending discrimination and legalizing marriage for everyone (I know not in my control but a girl can dream)~~. I know there are appeals coming, and that could even lead to the entire U.S., but I'm on a high right now!
Make something with my ridiculous collection of corks
Complete the 26 books in 1 year challenge (I know it's 52, but I'm trying to be realistic here)
Make a pie crust from scratch
Meet Peanut's little brother
Make onesies of a longer lasting quality
Figure out how to turn onesie creations into a business, maybe via etsy
See a therapist to work through the childhood issues I still can't let go of
Bake 5 goodies from pinterest (Blue Moon Cupcakes done and I think some others but not to 5 yet)
Snowboard down an intermediate run
Learn more about wine and food pairings
Spoil my "nieces" and "nephews" like crazy
Get a single serve coffee maker
Add pilates back in to my weekly routine
Write thank you notes for all birthday and Christmas gifts
Increase my 401K contribution %
Make an item of clothing
Go an entire week without checking facebook
See a ballet at Lincoln Center
Watch the Star Wars Trilogy
Learn 3 new Line Dances
~~Attend a Niners playoff game~~ I'm not sure I completely grasped the possibility when I wrote the list, but Niners-Saints will be one I'll talk about FOR-EV-ER
Play "Keep It or Toss It" twice a year
Continue with my sports curse reversal and help another city
Organize my junk "drawers"
Learn how to Dougie
Divorce blogger and switch to wordpress
Learn how to use Wordpress
Learn basic html
Visit 3 new sports stadiums
Plan and make running night meals in advance so they can be reheated on the night of (for an entire month) (Using Shakeology for running and meeting nights so I can make sure to get the proper nutrients when I don't have time to cook.)
Make my lunch for an entire week
Get back to a size 2/4 and maintain it!
Feel confident in a swimsuit
Complete P90X2
Get monthly massages on a consistent basis
Write at least one blog post in advance each week for a month
Design a piece of jewelry
Watch more "news"
Make tomato soup from scratch, well pre-peeled tomatoes are acceptable (I would like to point out that spell check does not like pre-peeled, but pee-peeled is a suggestion)
Complete a month long photo challenge (working on FebPhotoADay)
Cook 10 new recipes
Make Butterbeer
Reread my favorite book, Little Women
Finish re-watching my favorite TV Show of all time, West Wing
Re-Watch my 2nd favorite TV show, Friday Night Lights, when I'm emotionally ready (Bought the DVD set, still not ready)
~~Attempt something new and fun with my hair color (low-lights or maybe a touch of red)~~ Strawberry Blonde Lowlights!
Have a real home office (aka not my kitchen table)
Buy from the farmers market at least one weekend a month during the summer
Carve a pumpkin
Die Easter eggs
~~Make Chammy's ribs~~
Make a habit out of drinking a full glass of water when I wake up
~~Get professionally fit for a pair of running shoe~~s
Finish Arrested Development before the movie comes out
~~Get an @reply back from someone fames on Twitter (after Joey Lawrence followed me with no initiation on my part, this shouldn't be too difficult right?)~~ Matt Maoicco (Niners writer for CSN Bay Area and other outlets) replied to me DURING the Niners-Giants game, for me that's fames.
Review more books on Be Awesome Instead
Make a donation to one of my former university programs
Do something touristy in NYC that I never did while living there (should be easy, only thing I did was the Empire State Building)
Pass the CISA (work related exam/certification)
Get my PMP (Big Pimpin...another work cert)
Participate in another Warrior Dash (Does registering for the Tough Mudder instead count?)
Have FTS mentioned by a larger sports outlet
Continue to try foods I don't like in hopes my taste buds change (they have for sushi and ham, so there really is hope)
Figure out who the mom is on HIMYM
See a Cirque show
Try 5 new restaurants in Sacramento
Go to The Kitchen
Learn how to whistle
Go to a museum
Work on my posture, especially while sitting at a desk
Figure out who to contact on The Mentalist to let them know how off their Sacramento "locations" are (56th St is not in downtown), and let them know I'd gladly consult for the show.
Trade a pin with someone at Disneyland or World.

A Sporting Event I Didn't Care About?

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 14:34:00 +0000

I know, I'm as shocked as you all are. The Super Bowl just didn't do it for me this year. The commercials and the food sure did though! We had quite the spread, including my treats.

Read about what I made and my favorite commercials HERE

Surviving the Drives

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 04:24:00 +0000

What a game! AND years from now I'll get to say I was there and not be lying!

You can read about my experience HERE

NIIIIIIIIINNNNERRRRRRRRRS!!!

I Can DO It!

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 15:24:00 +0000

Today I start the insanity that will lead me (fingers crossed) to check off 1 item on my 101 in 1001 list. Sunday leads to a 2nd. Both will help with one of my goals. Want to know what I'm talking about? You can check out my crazy HERE.

Lighten Up!

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 14:39:00 +0000

It's been far too serious around here lately, and yes, serious can be needed from time to time, but someone needs to lighten up (coughcoughmecoughwheeeezecough). Here are some random things that have put a smile on my face lately. Can this count as Random Musings, Shana?

Everyone's support from Wednesday's post, you all are seriously amazing!
Sending out the New Year in style with some fab friends, and not looking half bad for 30. Take that, aging!

Notice the platinum is mostly gone? I added lowlights of a golden/strawberry blonde shade and I LOVE them. First time I've ever chosen to go darker, so I was scurred. (101 in 1001 item-check).
Feeling much better about the work year after Wednesday, a little recognition never hurts.
All the adorable little ones that have joined the world in the last few months.

The Princess loves her baby, Little Miss (Baby O)

The hilarity that is The Bachelor this season. I'm not usually a fan of reality TV, but the Bachelor franchise is my guilty pleasure. I can't wait to laugh (and sometimes cringe) at all the crazy every Monday night for the next couple of months. There's a special brand of crackiswhack this year.
Downton Abbey coming back on Sunday! I'm a PBS nerd on this one and I don't care.
Finishing 2 books last week! Prince of Tides (FINALLY) and Before Ever After (a historical fiction rom-com, magical must read, recommended by KLZ). Starting The Night Circus this weekend.
Planning trips for this year. So far we have: Stagecoach, NYC, Jackson Hole, Costa Rica, a work training in Orlando or Chicago, and fingers crossed I'll be back to Disneyland (maybe for the half over Labor Day weekend). Good thing I've saved up some PTO!
Where I'll be on January 14th...

Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs!

What I'll be wearing on January 14th:

Got my Rice jersey, thanks to the Brother!

2012 is definitely starting on the lighter side!

PYHO: The Secret

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 16:37:00 +0000

I've been holding on to this post for awhile, but after seeing Shell's PYHO post today, I knew it was time...

I have a secret and I've never told a soul.

The secret holds the power to change lives and possibly destroy relationships, at the very least it would change certain perceptions.

During my childhood I found something that still confuses me to this day. I waited years for the secret to come out. It never did. So much time has passed, I'm not even sure what I saw was real. But I can still see everything as if it happened yesterday. If I told someone now, I'm sure they'd think I was crazy. No one knows I know.

It's not my secret to tell.

I can go days, weeks and months without thinking about the secret, then an image, song, smell, or just one word will bring everything back to the surface.

The secret plays a huge role in certain beliefs I have today, and I'm guessing plays an even bigger role in the baggage I lug around with me every day.

I've carried the secret for at least 20 years. Today is the first time I've ever mentioned it. If you ask, I will not tell you.

It's not my secret to tell.

12 Goals for 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

In 2011 I set out to achieve one goal, expand the group of friends. With the majority of my local friends settling down and popping out babies, I started to lose my fun, single self. I LOVE my friends and their kids dearly, but we're definitely at different points in our personal lives, and that's OK. I achieved my goal, while still maintaining the friendships I went in to the year with. This year I'm focusing on what I can control related to the3 P's, physical, personal and professional.

Physical

1. Actually stick with the fitness programs I have committed to so far, running and P90x2. I have a history of doing something once then completely dropping it after the program is over or I've achieved my goals.

2. See an endocrinologist and try to get the whole thyroid crap figured out. I recently learned my previous doctor has been under-medicating me for at least a year. In the 6 years since being diagnosed I've never seen a specialist. For anyone who's ever had to deal with thyroid issues you can understand how frustrated I am. For everyone else, your thyroids affect EVERYTHING. Metabolism, mood, endurance/exhaustion, cold tolerance, skin, ability to focus and regularity (yeah I went there, sorry if it's TMI). I miss feeling like ME.

3. Maintain a healthy diet over the course of the year. I may not be able to control my metabolism while the thyroids level out again, but I can control what I put in my body. Don't worry, ice cream we'll still mingle from time to time.

4. Try something new physically. I know this is vague, but I have a few ideas of what I might want to do.

Personal

5. Get my flirting/banter mojo back. A big part of this is more than likely tied in with the thyroids, but I've removed myself from situations this year where I could actually have fun. Dumb.

6. Date. I've never been a big fan of dating, the first few weeks are just annoying, and I could do without the whole vulnerability thing. I kind of miss the college days where you'd just drunkenly make out first and go from there. At 30, I need to grow up and put myself back out there. I'm not likely to meet anyone new by sticking to my comfort zone.

7. Put an active effort in to continuing my spiritual growth. I don't talk about my faith a lot on here, and it's been a bit of a struggle the past couple of years, but I need to stop with the excuses and refocus.

8. Read the books I've already purchased on my kindle, before purchasing any more. I think I have close to 10 or 12 from the last year that I haven't even started.

Professional

9. Try to stay positive. I found myself unhappy towards the end of the year for multiple reasons, but I can do a better job of focusing on what I do like. I chose to come back to my company instead of staying on the Events path for a reason.

10. Continue to volunteer and increase my involvement with the civic/social group I'm a part of, where possible.

11. Find the balance. I'm a bit of an over-committer (funny considering my personal commitment issues) and get to the point of being so overwhelmed I can't do anything, or do everything but what I actually need to do. Gossip sites tend to be the main go-to during these times. Someday my celebrity knowledge will be worth something.

12. Increase my 401k contribution. At this point, I'll be lucky to retire at 95. 65 more years of working makes me want to cry and who likes to cry and be all blotchy for hours after?

You might be wondering why blogging's not on the list, but I kind of like the unknown here. I do need to bring back the Hamburger Alerts though. Rooney Mara? Ew.

Christmas Wishlist

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 11:00:00 +0000

I love finding the perfect gift and will spend the months leading up to Christmas figuring out just what I want to get for the fam and friends. Watching them open a gift I know they're not expecting truly is a highlight of the holidays for me. If I can get some tears of joy out of my mom? Even better!

I wasn't sure I could top last year, but I know a few people will be quite surprised come Sunday, including myself! I usually have some idea of what I'm getting, but this year I'm completely clueless. Here are a few items I'm hoping I might find under the tree:

West Wing: The Complete Series

via

NorthFace Better than Naked Jacket for running in the rain

via

Rice Jersey

Wine Fridge, would like a 12 bottle dual temp control,
but would really take anything small enough to fit in my place and keep my wine good.

FNL: Complete Series (for when I'm ready to watch again, sigh)

To support my kindle book buying addiction:

Alcohol, TV, Books, Sports and Fitness. Yup, that about sums me up.

I Can Breathe Again!

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 11:00:00 +0000

No more studying! At least for now, and I'm going with the assumption that I passed. Even though I feel like I'll be right at the cut-off and could go either way. But nothing I can do for two months! I could almost feel the stress melt away as I walked out Saturday morning. Until I found myself in the Starbucks at the mall. Oh that's right, it's holiday season, how could I forget!

I spent the rest of the weekend completely enveloping myself in all things Christmas. I watched Elf and Love Actually twice, wrapped presents and of course, the tree! I'm usually a buy the weekend after Thanksgiving, tree person. With studying this year, I had to wait TWO weeks. Gah! But here it is:

Space is a bit limited in my new place, luckily size doesn't matter, it's the smell that counts! Heh. I also love my Angel tree topper. I still remember putting it on the tree for the first time as a little kid. My mom kept it for me after we changed our family one out. Awwww (I could hear you all saying it, so I threw it in to make the voice in your head actually be on the computer and you wouldn't seem crazy. You're welcome).

After 36 hours of full-on Holidayness, I finally feel like the most wonderful time of the year has infected me too!

That's not all I've been infected with lately. No, ew, not that. Or that! Come on people. I have the running bug. And you can read about it HERE.

Hindering My Favorite Time of the Year

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 04:49:00 +0000

This is going to be my life through next Friday.

Only the fantasy football updates will be replaced with practice exam questions.

I thought I was done studying when I got my Masters.

Yeah, not so much...

Also, I don't retain as much while drinking as I did in college.

Do you think that's tied to how many brain cells I've already killed?

Eh.

I will beat you, CISA!

Waiting for the "Real" Thing

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 11:00:00 +0000

Dear How I Met Your Mother writers,

Clearly, I love your show. I mean, hello, the blog is named Be Awesome Instead for a reason.

I supported you when you got Barney and Robin together the first time, even though it went against everything you built the characters to be for multiple seasons. I complained and you listened. Whether directly to me or not, I'm not sure, as others felt the same way. Now, though, I'm disappointed. Not for the outcome of last night's show, but for the message that came along with the single person having a kid story line.

"It's worth the wait" to hold out until you find a significant other.

"Gotta wait for the real thing, no matter how tough it gets."

Guess what? Not everyone finds, or even wants, the "real thing."

I understand you're trying to move the story along, but sitting here at thirty knowing I want kids? Single parenthood is a realistic possibility. Yes, having a child with someone I love and will spend the rest of my life with would be the ideal situation. But how long should I wait? Should I just not have kids at all if I don't find the "real thing?" As a woman, the amount of time for that to happen only exists for so long. This is my reality.

We're in the 21st century here. I appreciate your support on gay couples having children. Truly. I hope everyone else follows suit. But your lack of support for the single parent amazes me. Maybe you think it's ok if the single parent started out with a significant other? I can tell you an unhappy two-parent household can screw a kid up, just as much, if not more so, than a single parent household.

Obviously, I'm not at the point where I have to make the decision on kids alone or no kids, but if that time comes and I'm in a place to support a child with the right group of people around me, the decision won't come down to waiting for the "real thing," as you so choose to call it.

I understand where you're coming from in using that choice of words for the impact it would have on the end of the episode, and I'm not usually one to take offense. This time though, you got me. Poorly played, writers, poorly played.

Sincerely,

A Very Disappointed Fan

Book Review: Your Voice in My Head

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 17:00:00 +0000

It feels so good to finish a book again! I've seriously missed this feeling!

Your Voice in My Head by Emma Forrest came at the perfect time, similar to my former experience with Eat, Pray, Love. I wanted to read it a few months back, but kept putting it off, not really sure why. Now I know. I've been debating seeing a therapist for a couple months (it's now on my 101 in 1001 list, so the debate is done). I don't feel utterly broken anymore, but at the same time I still don't think I've completely healed from the heart shattering I experienced at the hands of Mr. P. I'm not sure anyone walks away from that kind of betrayal ever completely whole again, but there's got to be something more to smooth over the cracks right? Something to help with the fear of putting myself in a position fall again, instead of just burying myself in everything but. Thanks to this book, I'm confident I will find a way to finally remove the band-aid, air out the wounds, and move on with my life. I just may not be able to do it on my own, and that's OK to admit.

Like Eat, Pray, Love I think this book will touch everyone in a different way. What I took out of it, may not be the same for you. While I can't relate to the extremes of Emma Forrest's emotions, her writing is simply amazing. Of course the celebrity aspect of the book (torrid affair with a certain hottie on many Freebie Five lists) definitely does not hurt, but there really is so much more. I'll probably need to read it a few more times to really grasp everything. For the first time, I'm actually using the highlight feature on my kindle so I can go back and reread specific quotes.

Here is the description from Amazon:

Emma Forrest, a British journalist, was just twenty-two and living the fast life in New York City when she realized that her quirks had gone beyond eccentricity. In a cycle of loneliness, damaging relationships, and destructive behavior, she found herself in the chair of a slim, balding, and effortlessly optimistic psychiatrist—a man whose wisdom and humanity would wrench her from the dangerous tide after she tried to end her life. She was on the brink of drowning, but she was still working, still exploring, still writing, and she had also fallen deeply in love. One day, when Emma called to make an appointment with her psychiatrist, she found no one there. He had died, shockingly, at the age of fifty-three, leaving behind a young family. Reeling from the premature death of a man who had become her anchor after she turned up on his doorstep, she was adrift. And when her all-consuming romantic relationship also fell apart, Emma was forced to cling to the page for survival and regain her footing on her own terms.

A modern-day fairy tale, Your Voice in My Head is a stunning memoir, clear-eyed and shot through with wit. In her unique voice, Emma Forrest explores the highs and lows of love and the heartbreak of loss.

I highly recommend this book. You should find it an easy read in that it's on the shorter side (at least compared to the books I've been trying to finish lately), but it's not a simple beach read. Your Voice in My Head is a true memoir, entirely honest in the emotions, leaving the sugarcoating for someone else.

"Time heals all wounds. And if it doesn't, you name them something other than wounds and agree to let them stay." -Emma Forrest

PYHO: Ohhh, to Never Be 23 Again

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 11:00:00 +0000

Linking up with Shell for PYHO...

In the past (mainly leading up to the 28th, 29th and 30th birthdays) I would casually say something along the lines of "What I wouldn't give to be 25 again" or 27, or 23. Truthfully, I don't want to go back. 23 might easily be considered my favorite year. I split time between both coasts, got paid for playing in sand or grass and getting my tan on (I'd say playing with kids, but these days you never know how that could be interpreted), still danced regularly, followed my dreams and managed to get in to the top Sport Management graduate program. Would I ever really go back though? Not a chance (I would take my 23 year old body)!

Youthful, Innocent, Stupid and Naive. Soooo Naive.

I enjoy the wisdom and perspective 30 years has brought me. I'm no longer that girl who gets drunk and makes out with whatever ~~beer goggle induced~~ hottie happens to pay me attention. When we were out a few weekends ago, I saw a couple of guys who peaked my interest, based solely on looks, of course. With one in particular, glances, and the slight smile, were exchanged throughout the night. I felt him looking my way A LOT. Yet, I didn't want to fight for his attention with the drunk girl who could barely stand up straight. She went home with him.

7 years ago, I have no doubt that girl would have been me (and maybe 6 months ago, but that only happens on birthdays). I rarely lost out when it came down to competing, man did I had a talent for flirting! Instead, I woke up the next day rested. I didn't have to peek under the sheets, or call up my friends to piece together how I got there. My name didn't come up in conversations when everyone asked for the good gossip.

I have no regrets. I don't want to be that girl anymore. Not to say I didn't have fun when I was, but really it comes down to being too old for that shit. As for the guy, neither of us were really who the other was looking for in the given situation that night*. Chances are pretty good I'll run in to him again in the future. Maybe then we can talk without having to interpret some slurring girls words. Or maybe it will be my birthday...

*He didn't qualify as Cub status, so really what's the point?

101 in 1001

noreply@blogger.com (Hutch) — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 11:00:00 +0000

While visiting Ally and Shana in Kentucky they were crossing off multiple items from their 101 in 1001 list and I was completely jealous. So of course, not to be left out, I'm now making my own list.

Here are 101 things I hope to do/accomplish in the next 1001 days (just under 3 years).

Complete a 5K
Complete a 10K
Complete a Half Marathon (I know I'm nuts, but these running endorphins are like crack)
Learn how to "roll-out" my IT band properly aka Trigger Point
Allow myself to fall again (the idea still scares the shit out of me)
Visit a foreign country outside of North America
Take a tour of, or watch a game at, Fenway
Visit Chicago (and have a Grilled-Cheese off with KLZ)
Visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter
Finally go to Hawaii
Save enough to travel the world or buy a house
Get a dog
Learn how to cook lamb
Meet more blog friends
Keep in touch with the blog friends I've met
Get a professional bra fitting
Visit the Smithsonian
Attend a Syracuse BBall game in the Garden
Treat both sets of my parents to dinner at a "fancy" restaurant
Finish the Agony and the Ecstasy (I've tried 3 times)
Improve my golf skillzzz
Delete 1 current TV series for every new series I add on the DVR
Hike Half Dome
Camp in a tent
Walk the Golden Gate Bridge (bridges terrify me)
Pay off my credit card debt
Learn more about how cars work
Grow From the Sidelines readership
See California (and how about the entire U.S.) get it right by ending discrimination and legalizing marriage for everyone (I know not in my control but a girl can dream)
Make something with my ridiculous collection of corks
Complete the 26 books in 1 year challenge (I know it's 52, but I'm trying to be realistic here)
Make a pie crust from scratch
Meet Peanut's little brother
Make onesies of a longer lasting quality
Figure out how to turn onesie creations into a business, maybe via etsy
See a therapist to work through the childhood issues I still can't let go of
Bake 5 goodies from pinterest
Snowboard down an intermediate run
Learn more about wine and food pairings
Spoil my "nieces" and "nephews" like crazy
Get a single serve coffee maker
Add pilates back in to my weekly routine
Write thank you notes for all birthday and Christmas gifts
Increase my 401K contribution %
Make an item of clothing
Go an entire week without checking facebook
See a ballet at Lincoln Center
Watch the Star Wars Trilogy
Learn 3 new Line Dances
Attend a Niners playoff game
Play "Keep It or Toss It" twice a year
Continue with my sports curse reversal and help another city
Organize my junk "drawers"
Learn how to Dougie
Divorce blogger and switch to wordpress
Learn how to use Wordpress
Learn basic html
Visit 3 new sports stadiums
Plan and make running night meals in advance so they can be reheated on the night of (for an entire month)
Make my lunch for an entire week
Get back to a size 2/4 and maintain it!
Feel confident in a swimsuit
Complete P90X2
Get monthly massages on a consistent basis
Write at least one blog post in advance each week for a month
Design a piece of jewelry
Watch more "news"
Make tomato soup from scratch, well pre-peeled tomatoes are acceptable (I would like to point out that spell check does not like pre-peeled, but pee-peeled is a suggestion)
Complete a month long photo challenge
Cook 10 new recipes
Make Butterbeer
Reread my favorite book, Little Women
Finish re-watching my favorite TV Show of all time, West Wing
Re-Watch my 2nd favorite TV show, Friday Night Lights (when I'm emotionally ready)
Attempt something new and fun with my hair color (low-lights or maybe a touch of red)
Have a real home office (aka not my kitchen table)
Buy from the farmers market at least one weekend a month during the summer
Carve a pumpkin
Die Easter eggs
Make Chammy's ribs
Make a habit out of drinking a full glass of water when I wake up
Get professionally fit for a pair of running shoes
Finish Arrested Development before the movie comes out
Get an @reply back from someone fames on Twitter (after Joey Lawrence followed me with no initiation on my part, this shouldn't be too difficult right?)
Review more books on Be Awesome Instead
Make a donation to one of my former university programs
Do something touristy in NYC that I never did while living there (should be easy, only thing I did was the Empire State Building)
Pass the CISA (work related exam/certification)
Get my PMP (Big Pimpin...another work cert)
Participate in another Warrior Dash
Have FTS mentioned by a larger sports outlet
Continue to try foods I don't like in hopes my taste buds change (they have for sushi and ham, so there really is hope)
Figure out who the mom is on HIMYM
See a Cirque show
Try 5 new restaurants in Sacramento
Go to The Kitchen
Learn how to whistle
Go to a museum
Work on my posture, especially while sitting at a desk
Figure out who to contact on The Mentalist to let them know how off their Sacramento "locations" are (56th St is not in downtown), and let them know I'd gladly consult for the show.
Trade a pin with someone at Disneyland or World.

Ok, that was waaaay more difficult to come up with than I thought, but there it is. My 101 in 1001!